


Into Dust

by Liza1031



Series: Harlee Fics [2]
Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Anxiety Attacks, Awards, Breastfeeding, Celebrities, Cute, Emotional, Family Fluff, Hardships, Husbands, Implied Mpreg, Love, M/M, Male Lactation, Marriage, Parents Ben Hardy and Gwilym Lee, Separation Anxiety, Sick baby, award show
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-18
Updated: 2021-03-18
Packaged: 2021-03-26 20:15:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30111450
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Liza1031/pseuds/Liza1031
Summary: Ben hates being away from his sick baby.One-shot based on the song Into Dust by Mazzy Star
Relationships: Ben Hardy/Gwilym Lee
Series: Harlee Fics [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2213673
Kudos: 3





	Into Dust

The plane roared beneath them as another hour of travel had passed by.

Ben was reclined all the way back in his first class seat with his eight month old daughter asleep on his chest. He had a hand protectively on her back while the two slept like angels.

Gwil sat in his seat, reclined just slightly having dosed in and out of sleep. He hated sleeping planes but he was tired and couldn’t wait to get into bed at their hotel.

They were on their way to the United States for the Oscars and had made the decision to bring their daughter along because Ben was not about to leave his baby while he was out of the country.

She was well behaved during most of the ride, having fallen asleep four hours ago with Ben.

They had another two hours before they arrived at LAX so Gwil only hoped she’d stay asleep until they landed.

Since their daughter was still a baby, she didn’t have a seat for herself so she had gone back and forth between her parents’ laps. She ended up with Ben because he fed her since they had the privacy being in first class and put her to sleep, having been with him ever since.

Aspyn looked so much like Ben. She had blonde curls, rosy cheeks, and the softest green eyes. She was her mummy’s twin, but also had some of her daddy in her, like that button nose and smile of hers was all Gwil’s.

She had slept on his chest with her paci secure in her mouth. She looked so peaceful and pleasant with Ben that Gwil couldn’t stop staring at her in awe.

Thirty minutes had gone by and Aspyn was starting to wake up from her nap. She groaned and looked over at her father, her left cheek bright red from being pressed against Ben’s hoodie.

Gwil had smiled when she turned her head and she smiled behind her paci. “Hi love.” He whispered as he reached for him over the short wall in between their seats. “Alright, c’mere.” He picked her up which caused Ben to stir feeling the weight on his chest disappear.

“Gwil?” Ben looks up and sees Gwil pressing wet kisses to their daughter’s chubby cheek. “Oh you’ve got her.”

“Yeah. She just woke up and wanted me.”

“Okay.” Ben stretches as he yawns and moves so that he was sitting up. “Are we almost there?” He asks.

“Another hour and a half.” Gwil replies while stroking their daughter’s curls.

Aspyn let her daddy play with her hair for a bit then started to whine and pressed on his chest, squirming in his arms.

“What’s wrong honey? What do you want?” He asks as she keeps whining and starts to get loud. “Shh, shh tell daddy’s what’s wrong.”

Aspyn had a frown behind her paci and tears soon formed in those big green eyes of hers.

“Don’t cry, darling. What’s wrong?” Ben asks and rubs her back.

Gwil then handed her back to his husband who then checked to see if she needed a diaper change but she was dry.

Aspyn was growing cranky and antsy being in the same place and they couldn’t blame her because she was just a baby and was meant to explore.

Ben tried to soothe her and just hoped they could land and get to their hotel soon.

When the plane finally landed in California, he held her and his carry on backpack/diaper bag while Gwil took care of their other bags.

Luckily someone was there waiting for them so they were helped with their bags and brought to the private driving service they had requested.

The entire ride to the hotel was awful because they had gotten stuck in rush hour traffic and Aspyn was still cranky, making her parents wishing they were back home.

Their car had come with a car seat so she was sitting in it and was not having it. Crying and shrieking at the top of her lungs. Big tears, bright red face, kicking her chubby little legs, trying to get out of the contraption while Ben and Gwil struggled to calm her, constantly apologizing to their driver.

They made it to the hotel about an hour and a half later, incredibly jet lagged and exhausted from the nightmare of a car ride. They had nowhere to be so they decided to just stay in for the night since the award show wasn’t until the following evening.

They ordered take-out and just had a quiet night in their hotel suite.

Ben had let the baby crawl around the place just so she wasn’t confined to one area. He brought some of her toys from back home and let her be while he and his husband had eaten their Thai takeout on the massive sectional in the living room.

They watched their baby play and fed her some plain noodles as well as some mashed avocados to hold her over for now until she had her milk later on for bed.

They had been invited out for drinks with some of their friends but they were too tired to go anywhere and didn’t feel like dressing up. Staying in their hoodies and sweats was the way to go, especially when they had their little one to care for. She kept them on their toes, even if she wasn’t prancing around on her little toes yet.

Later on, Ben had given Aspyn a bath in the marble tub using her baby soap then rubbed the nighttime baby lotion all over her body before getting on her jammies and putting her to sleep. Ben had fed and after thirty minutes, she was out like a light with a milk beard.

He smiled to himself when he pulled her away from his chest and wiped her mouth with washcloth before cleaning himself up and laying her in bed. He turned on the baby monitor then joined his husband in the tub for some much needed mummy and daddy relaxation time.

Gwil had a bottle of wine sent up for them knowing they both needed a little alcohol in their system after their long flight in. Ben couldn’t wait to sip his wine with his husband because he was limited to how much he drank while still breastfeeding but after consulting with his doctor she had told him he can have one drink per day if he liked but he rarely had any, only when he really wanted it.

So, the two were in the tub, soaking in the warm water, underneath the bubbles Gwil had put it while his husband was feeding their daughter. Ben had his back pressed against Gwil’s wet chest, both of them had their eyes closed and were enjoying the silence and calmness of the room.

Neither of them spoke and basked in the serenity of their peaceful bath.

It was nice and something they both knew they needed.

Once the bath water had gotten cool, they got out and got dressed for bed before crawling in on either side of their daughter.

Ben had pressed a kiss to her cheek as she slept then reached over and kissed his husband goodnight, more than ready for a goodnight’s sleep.

Aspyn, however, had other plans for her parents.

No one got sleep.

She had woken up not long after her parents laid down and was cranky, just like she was before. Ben and Gwil had figured that it was the time change and jet lag so they tried to keep her calm but she refused to sit up.

She was whiny and kept moving around, unable to get comfortable.

Ben and Gwil were exhausted, especially since they were up with her.

It was almost two in the morning and Aspyn was crying, sitting up in between her parents who were lying on their sides watching her.

“Baby girl, what’s wrong love?” Ben asked while running his fingers along her arm.

She just kept whining and seemed uncomfortable no matter what she did.

“I think she may have a stomach ache from the noodles we gave her.” Gwil says and hears Ben sharply exhale through his nostrils. “She hasn’t gone to the bathroom at all while we’ve been here so she probably has a gas bubble or is constipated.”

  
Ben realized that maybe that was the case. She didn’t poop all day and just peed so it was possible she had a gas bubble in her belly. How could he not have noticed? He was her mother, he changed her diapers. Ben was just so exhausted it completely went over his head.

“Oh baby love, your tummy hurts huh?” He asks her and sits up, pulling her into his arms. She continues to whine searching around the dimly lit room while Ben pressed her against his chest and rubbed soothing circles along her back.

Gwil had gotten his phone and decided to look up ways to help her.

“It says here to apply some pressure to her belly and see if anything happens. It also says to just wait it out that it’s common among babies and usually happens.”

“Okay.” Ben sighs and reluctantly lays the baby back down, beginning to apply pressure to her belly while rubbing around. Aspyn’s cries had quieted down to whimpers and she sucked on her paci looking up at her mother with big, tear filled eyes. “Does that feel better love?”

Aspyn had let out a soft whimper and Ben smiled. “Yeah? Mummy’s sorry for not knowing you were having tummy troubles.”

Gwil smiled and pressed a kiss to his daughter’s nose. “You forgive mummy though right?” He asks her.

Ben smiles like his husband and had put Aspyn to sleep once she let out a little burp. It wasn’t much but it was something to get her through the night.

**\---**

Ben wasn’t sure about going and leaving his baby girl with a sitter. Sure she was feeling a bit better but she still had a belly ache and he didn’t feel right about not being with her while she’s sick.

Gwil had reasoned with his husband about going for a little while then coming back to be with Aspyn. He understood how his husband felt but when your friend’s nominated for an Oscar, he kind of has to make an effort to at least show up and give his support.

When it was time for them to get ready, their stylists came with their suits as well as their managers and publicists. Ben held his daughter the whole time because it was the only way for her to be calm. She was well behaved and stayed quiet while in her mummy’s lap, biting on one of her toys.

Ben was still iffy about leaving her but once their sitter came, who just so happened to be one of their close family friends, he felt a bit better knowing she was being left with someone they knew and not a stranger.

As they were getting ready to head out, Ben was having a hard time saying bye to his baby. She had big tears in her eyes and was reaching out for him while in Maisy’s arms.

“C’mere love.” Ben takes her back and presses a soft kiss to her cheek. “Oh darling, your belly hurts huh?” He rubs his daughter’s back trying to get her to burp but there wasn’t much coming out. “I don’t think I should go, Gwil.”

“What do you mean? It’s the Oscars we have to go!”

“Yes I know and you can go without me.” Ben says, rubbing circles along his babe’s back. “I can’t leave her when she’s like this, Gwil. She doesn’t feel well.”

“She’ll be fine. If anything Maisy will call us and we’ll come back. C’mon let’s enjoy this night.” Gwil adds.

Ben sighs again and hands the baby back to their sitter. “We’ll be back later, baby girl. Okay?” He then looks over at their friends with a pleading look in his eyes. “If anything happens please call us right away.”

“I will, Ben. I promise.” She says and sees them out of their suite.

Ben and Gwil get into their private car and are officially on their way to the Oscars. They had hit some traffic but were making good time.

On the way, Ben was looking through pictures and videos of Aspyn already missing her like crazy. It killed him that he had to be away from her but it was a good thing to be away and get a break for a little while. He’s been with his baby girl, all day everyday for months, so this was a much needed break even under certain circumstances.

Upon arriving at the Dolby Theater, Gwil had taken his husband’s hand and escorted him out of the car, keeping a firm grip as they approached the massive crowd of cameras, interviewers, other actors and actresses, and of course the fans who had camped out the night before to see their favorite actor walk the carpet.

Before they had even set foot on the red carpet, Gwil had tugged Ben’s hand and pulled him towards his body. “I love you.”

A smile breaks across Ben’s face and he presses a quick kiss to Gwil’s cheek. “I love you too.”

Gwil sends his lover a smile as well and they proceed to walk the carpet holding hands until they have to go their separate ways for pictures and interviews.

Ben couldn’t focus on one thing because all he cared about was his girl and if it was wrong for him to just leave her while she was feeling under the weather.

As they approached the actual building and had walked through the lobby, Ben grabbed a bottle of water knowing he was gonna need it because he could feel an anxiety attack coming on.

He didn’t say anything and instead took himself across the lobby to a more secluded area so he could give himself a chance to breathe. These anxiety attacks had started ever since he found out he was pregnant. He never had anxiety like this ever in his life so dealing with his sudden attacks was new to him but he’s dealt with it and goes to see a therapist as well, however being away from all things that help him, excluding his husband, was making matters worse.

Gwilym had noticed his husband’s sudden change and followed him to the area, trying to be sure no one saw them.

“Ben, love,” He watched as his husband was taking quick breaths and chugging down the water. “Sweetheart, you have to take slower and deeper breaths remember?”

Ben shook his head as tears filled his eyes knowing the peak of his attack was coming.

“Yes you do, c’mon now. In through your nose and out through your mouth.” Gwil had demonstrated Ben’s all too familiar breathing exercises, waiting for his husband to follow. “C’mon Ben, you have to breathe. Just like having a baby, breathing helped immensely remember?”

Ben then nods and starts to take shaky breaths in and out until he has settled himself. “M’sorry, Gwil.”

“It’s okay sweetheart. Are you gonna be okay because we can leave now if you’d like.”

“No, no. Let’s go in there and be there for our friends.” Ben says and rises to his feet. “I’ll be fine, I promise.” He adds with a slight nod.

“Okay.” They share a quick kiss before making their way into the theater.

The entire award show dragged on and Ben was getting impatient but as soon as the last award was given, Ben and Gwil took their private car back to their hotel. Neither of them were fans of after parties, especially since they’re parents now, so they were eager to be with their baby.

When they returned to their suite, Ben had a big smile on his face when he saw his girl but it faded seeing how sad she was. She reached out for him and was happy to be back in her mummy’s arms.

“How was she?” Gwil asks.

“She was whiny all night and missed you lots.” Maisy informs him. “We watched you on tv though so that helped some…”

Ben pays no mind to her and instead goes into the bedroom with his baby. Poor thing still had an upset tummy, from a gas bubble being unable to burp or go to the bathroom which was making both her parents nervous.

He removes his jacket and loosens his shirt before picking up his daughter from the bed and holding her against his chest.

“Sweetheart, how’re you feeling?” He asks, leaving soft kisses to the side of her head as he sways them from side to side. “Mummy’s here now, love. Hopefully this tummy ache will go away soon.” He tells her.

Gwil then comes into their bedroom having informed his husband that he paid their sitter before she left.

“How’s our little babe?” He asks, placing a hand over Ben’s that was on her back.

“Still not feeling well.” Ben sighs. “This momma’s ready for bed though.” He yawns and proceeds to his side of the bed.

Ben lays the baby down first then quickly changes out of his clothes and into just his boxers and a plain black t-shirt. Gwil had opted for a hot shower so while he was in the bathroom, Ben was able to get cozy and hopefully settle his daughter down for bed.

She had stopped whining once she knew her mummy was there and clinging to him for dear life, leaving Ben in an awkward position to sleep in, he wasn’t complaining though because as long as his baby was content then he was okay with it.

They decide to see how the night goes then they’ll go to the hospital if it doesn’t change.

Unfortunately, she was not having it. She was up all night, cranky, miserable, and constantly whining to her parents.

Ben and Gwil were exhausted and didn’t want to deal with her but they did anyway because well they were parents.

They kept the room dark and tried different ways to get her to settle down. Ben tried breastfeeding, giving her a bottle, rubbing her belly, just anything to get her to sleep but nothing worked.

It was nearly four in the morning when finally, finally all three of them got some sleep.

The tired parents took advantage and were out cold within seconds of their daughter’s slumber.

**\---**

Gwilym was the first to wake up. It was just about noon and he felt like he had been hit by a bus.

He groaned as he sat up and looked over to see his husband and daughter both asleep.

Ben had his face pressed into the firm pillow, lying half on his side and half on his stomach, while their daughter was laying on her back, pouty lips parted and soft snores emitting from her mouth.

He smiled to himself and instead of starting his day alone, he decides to stay in bed and moves onto his other side, bringing an arm around his sleeping babe, careful not to wake her before falling back to sleep again.

A few hours later, they were all awake and Aspyn was feeling a bit better when she woke up but Ben wanted to be sure she was okay, so they had brought her to the local walk-in in Los Angeles, to avoid being in a large crowd.

It was in walking distance which was convenient for them so they had gotten her settled in her stroller before heading out, both wearing dark sunglasses to hide their faces as much as they could from any cameras that found them.

The three of them sat in the small waiting area while Aspyn was still in her stroller, busy with one of her toys. Ben and Gwil were both on their phones waiting for her name to be called hoping it wouldn’t be long until she was seen.

Twenty minutes had gone by then a nurse had come out. “Aspyn Lee?”  
Ben and Gwil stood up and Gwilym pushed his daughter’s stroller while they followed the young woman into an exam room. She had checked Aspyn’s height, weight, then took her blood pressure and made sure everything was good before having them wait once more for the doctor.

Ben was sitting on the bed with Aspyn beside him, still playing with her toy while Gwil had made himself comfortable in the seat beside the bed in the small room.

“Hello.” A female voice sings as the door opens. She walks in with a smile and introduces herself to the young parents. “Hi, I’m Doctor Lavender.”

“I’m Ben, this is my husband Gwilym and our daughter Aspyn.”

“Hello.” She smiles, shaking their hands then looks down at the baby. “Why hello Miss Aspyn how’re you today?” She asks and doesn’t get an answer from the baby, just a small smile. “So what brings you guys in today?” She asks as she begins to wash her hands.

“Well since we got here, Aspyn’s been very cranky and we realized she hadn’t gone to the bathroom so we think she’s constipated or has a gas bubble.”

“Okay and how long has this been going on?”

“About three days now. I know we should’ve brought her in sooner but yesterday was hectic enough. Two nights ago we had looked up what could be wrong with her and if it was gas, it suggested we massage her belly so I did that and she did burp but the crankiness and irritability lasted.”

“Mhm. Well let’s have a look and see what’s going on with this baby girl.” She says and Ben moves aside so that Doctor Lavender can examine his daughter.

She had felt around her tummy and recognized that one spot was a bit more tender than the others. “Oh yeah I’m feeling something here.” She says then proceeds to apply slight pressure on the area, rubbing small circles as well. “C’mon sweet girl.” She encourages the little babe.

Aspyn had whined as the doctor continued to massage her belly then let out a rather loud queef and everybody, including Doctor Lavender chuckled.

“Good girl.” Doctor Lavender praises and Aspyn was now smiling from the pain being taken away. “That felt good huh.

Much to her parents’ relief, all she needed to do was let that gas out of her system and she was all better

Aspyn was back to being the happy baby her mummy and daddy knew. Ben was so glad she was doing better.

“Aww sweet girl, do you feel better now?” Ben asks as his daughter crawls up into his lap and gives him a hug. “Aww, I’m glad you’re feeling better.” He tells her and presses a kiss into her curls.

“Do you breastfeed her?” Doctor Lavender asks.

“Yes.”  
“Sometimes that happens when breastfeeding. Too much air gets in if her latch isn’t tight enough but if it happens again, you can just massage her belly but if it gets serious then you can seek medical attention only if needed.”

“Okay. Well it’s good to know.”

“Yeah. Well she seems to be doing a lot better which is good.” She says, smiling at Aspyn. “It was nice meeting you Miss Aspyn, I’m glad you’re feeling better sweetheart.” She then looks up at Ben and Gwil. “I wish you safe travels back home and if you have any questions this has my phone number and email as well.”

“Great thank you.”

Doctor Lavender then bid her goodbyes and left the room while Ben and Gwil packed up their baby and left the doctor’s office.

Afterwards, the family returned to their hotel suite and packed the rest of their bags, deciding to go out to eat since it was their last day in Los Angeles before heading back home. They met with Joe at a local restaurant and had a good time during their late lunch. She was doing much better and was smiling and being her adorable self.

She sat in Ben’s lap, picking at her mummy’s food trying to get some but she couldn’t have much because she was still so little but she gave her some french fries to gnaw on for now then gave her some baby puffs.

**-Two Days Later-**

Ben and Gwil were finally back home, their flight got cancelled for some reason so they spent an extra day in the states before getting back home. They were both relieved to be back in their house with their little lady.

The family settled in bed together, eager to just stay here for days cuddling with each other. Their daughter, however, had other plans. She was hyper and wanted to play, babbling away at her mummy and daddy.

“Sweetheart, it’s time to sleep.” Ben tells her watching as she gives off a mischievous smile going against her parents’ wishes. “C’mon lay with mummy.” He gently pulls her to his chest and stroked his finger through her curls while humming a familiar lullaby to his darling babe.

Gwilym watched as his husband effortlessly settled her down and put her to sleep.

“You’re such a good mummy.” He says and catches Ben smiling while glancing over at his husband.

Ben then cranes his neck up and plants a kiss onto his husband’s lips. “Why thank you, my love.” He then happily sighs and looks back down at his baby. “I love you so much.” He whispers to his little lady before the two of them drift off to sleep as well.

**Author's Note:**

> If there are any tags you felt I've missed please let me know :)


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